You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
