Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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