I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
