it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
