I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
