It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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