I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
