talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
