Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Alive.
So much puke
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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