Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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