So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
