sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she smelled like a LAN party
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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