I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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