Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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