Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize