Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
