Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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