doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
