Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
