Me. At least after what I've been through.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
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im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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