nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
