She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he thought i was a dude.
i think i have two assholes
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
