please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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