Apparently you make a good broom.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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