first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
