I want to walk on stilts...naked
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
