chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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