I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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