he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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