pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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