conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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