I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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