A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
