everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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