So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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