Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
