What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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