Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
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She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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