You really coming over, don't trick.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
