we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize