omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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