nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
