No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I love how my cats smell like pot.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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