I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
