The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
