Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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