Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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