Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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