You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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