You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
