Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
