with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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