Tell her she can't have a vagina
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
