I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
