Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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