All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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