Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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