is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
