Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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