I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize