i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
