So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i would punch a child for taco bell
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
