is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
