i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize