I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
