what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
MIDGETS
????
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
