im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
