That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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