Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
