dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
