did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
