My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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